3 Things Every Male with ADHD Should Hear
I've been doing the work of ADHD coaching and accountability since early January this year, and I've learned so much since I started. There's a really beautiful community of ADHDers out here, and I've been introduced to so many of you with nothing but love.
There's a problem that's caught my eye in this community, though - and it's that men are often diagnosed with ADHD, struggling with an unnavigated ADHD brain and so few of us men are talking about it openly (thanks, bad stigma). Ever since I started doing advocacy and sharing different tools I've discovered in managing our ADHD brains, I've gotten countless men (many of whom I've known for a long time) messaging me saying that they have an ADHD brain and have struggled with it for a long time, never feeling comfortable about speaking about it publically. Just search the hashtag #adhdmen on Instagram vs the #adhdwomen , you'll get a glimpse of what I'm talking about (ADHD women can
struggle lots, too, make no mistake).
This is a conversation that I am willing to start and that said, if you, or someone you love, identify as an ADHD male, here are three things that I need you to hear.
1.) It is the strong who seek help - not the weak.
Let. That. Land.
ADHD folks are unfortunately a little more likely to get depression - and one of the things that prevent us men from getting the help that we need is bad stigma. Men are often told that we need to "figure it out" or "get over it" and that getting help makes us "weak" when something is bothering us, and it does us and are loved ones no good.
One of the best decisions my Mom made for me when I was a teen was help me get a therapist and nowadays, I work with a coach and seek support from other healers, as well with no shame as I know it makes me more confident, a stronger individual, less likely to have emotional episodes often correlated with jarred up emotions - all things we associate with good masculinity. Michael Phelps, who has ADHD, talks a lot about this, as well.
2.) You're not alone - other men are willing to hear you out.
I chatted with Peter Shankman (founder of the famous HARO, entrepreneur, also ADHD) on his podcast Faster Than Normal about this, and it felt amazing to be on another guy's show who does similar work and chat about this.
I created a free Facebook group for this very reason - titled "ADHD Men's Support Group" and you're more than welcome to use this online community I'm building to connect with other ADHD men, cheer each other on and learn more about how to navigate the ADHD brain!
3.) Us ADHD folks can not only be happy, but we can thrive, as well.
Yes, you read that right! An ADHD diagnosis does not in fact mean that you cannot do amazing things with our lives. One of the best descriptions I've ever heard about ADHD from Dr. Ned Hallowell (author of the amazing book, Driven to Distraction) is that ADHD is like having a fast car for a brain. If you don't know how to drive it, it can take a serious wreck on your life and potentially lead to death, but if you do know how to drive it, it can be a nice luxury.
There are many successful examples of people with ADHD brains such as David Neeleman (Founder of Jet Blue), Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs, Seth Goden, the list goes on and on and I have good news - and it's that you can be one, too.
You just need to learn to properly navigate your fast car ADHD brain. This takes good resources, ADHD books from experts (Dr Russell Barkley, Dr Daniel Amen and Dr Ned Hallowell are some of my favoirtes), coaching, therapy, mindfulness, yoga, natural supplements and/or properly prescribed medication (if needed) and lots of other things - but y'all, it can be done. We just need to explore and fellow ADHD men, we are not alone.
For one on one ADHD coaching and accountability towards your goals, book a free call with me today over here and let's say NO to you not reaching your maximum potential despite ADHD!