Daily Blog #2 - My Biggest Mistake
"What was I thinking?"
A self shaming question that I've asked myself too often.
In my life, I've made a series of decisions that weren't best for me. Decisions I've made in the wrong direction of managing a team. Keeping relationships. Working in certain jobs. To this day, I still am someone who doesn't make the right moves each and every day.
But here's the deal - absolutely none of those fall in to the category of what the biggest mistake I've made and admittedly sometimes still make.
The biggest mistake is my self sabotage. Identifying myself solely based off my imperfections.
The self shame has never helped me get better at the issue at hand. And worst of all, it lowered my self perception when I believed it, preventing me from showing up at the task at hand again because I felt "I couldn't".
I have non-COVID and non political breaking news for you. Bad news first - your life will never be one of perfect decisions. Ever. The influencer you compare yourself to, the basketball player you admire and the singer songwriter you aspire to be like all have one thing in common - it's that they're imperfect.
And now for the good news - you don't have to let these imperfections define you. It's important that we actively remind ourselves of our good and challenge those thoughts of negative self belief (a client of mine refers to these thoughts as his inner Purple Douchebag) when they show up.
Here's some questions in which I'd like to use to challenge the negative self belief that can come in these moments -
Why am I not defined by this?
How can I learn from this for next time?
What's the good that can happen from this?
I most certainly don't have all the solutions to your life problems - but I know what's most certainly not a solution for people like us. And that's beating ourselves up.
Currently reading - "Conscious Leadership" by Whole Foods CEO John Mackey