What I've Learned Since Working with ADHD Men
Early last year, I was on my first ever big podcast as I had shifted my focus (pun intentended) from working with the ADHD audience as a whole to working with ADHD men, due to the fact that I was getting so many messages from different men with ADHD saying that they were struggling quite a lot in their life, and that many of them never felt comfortable talking about it.
I saw this as a huge issue, but it turns out, it was even bigger than that.
I since then started a Facebook group and a separate social media account for this work and have met so many different men with ADHD. We've built friendships, worked together through coaching, shared laughs, so much and today, I want to share with you 3 things that I have learned since starting this work.
Here we go.
#1.) ADHD is not just one kind of person.
In my group, we have a VARIETY of men. People ranging from the most masculine of masculine guys, to total empaths. There's a big myth that ADHD is just one type of person - it so isn't.
We have people who are on the louder side of things, and others who struggle less with hyperactivity and impulsivity and more with things like focus, executive functions and social anxiety. Different passions, hobbies, music tastes, so much.
#2.) An untreated ADHD brain is dangerous.
I paused for a second writing this one because I know how deep it is. It's one thing to read a Dr. Russell Barkley paper , another to come across and dive deep with men with ADHD who have struggles economically, lost jobs (tear in my eye right now), relationships, so much.
These people aren't just a statistic. These are real, human lives.
And many of them have been told that "ADHD isn't that big of a deal", possibly preventing them from getting the treatment/tools they need to navigate their brains that could've prevented so much.
Make no mistake - people with ADHD can WIN and have so many strengths, but that often doesn't happen when we aren't self aware and learn how to utilize our strengths, and when it doesn't, it can go a very bad route.
It's more serious than you think.
#3.) Sharing your story is powerful.
A sense of community has really been the greatest thing (I think) that I say that I have provided. Hearing people thank me for having started the group, shared my story with vulnerability, be a listening ear to others while they share, all has given my life so much meaning.
If you have a passion to be an advocate and support people, which it's totally okay if you don't, never hesitate to share. Even if you have just 5 followers, you could be positively impacting someone.
#4.) I need the group, too.
Recently, me and my good friend John Hazelwood ( @adhd_j0nj0n on Twitter) have joined forces (okay, how cool does that sound?) and have taken a "step further" in the group, now doing bi-weekly Zoom meetups.
It was therapeutic for me, to say the least.
In our call, we shared laughs, we empowered one another, shared tips, understood one another and a member even said that it was like he knew us throughout his whole life. I felt less alone myself, and I built some new connections in my own life.
I share this article with you because I want you to know 2 things.
#1.) men deal with mental health issues, too. We often cover it up, "play it cool", "man up", but really, we are human. Having a therapist and/or a coach is a very masculine trait, as it allows us to be more ourselves in doing what we love and less bottled up, leaving our loved ones with emotional outbursts.
#2.) Community matters.
Never underestimate the power of speaking with a loved one, throwing a little get together for a good friends birthday (likely on Zoom right now because, ya know, COVID-19) or even just texting them something silly for a laugh.
I hope that this article inspires someone struggling and gives some perspective as to what ADHD is like for men.
If you're a male with ADHD, join my free support group on Facebook today, "ADHD Men's Support Group" and be on the lookout for future announcements of Zoom meetups!
For one on one coaching, book a FREE discovery call today to see how wellness coaching and accountability can help you get from point A to point B and overcome insecurities with our ADHD brain.